The cruel and heartbreaking reality of obstetric fistula following stillbirth was truly brought home to me by one extraordinary woman – Dr. Catherine Hamlin. Nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and holder of innumerable awards, Catherine devoted her life to treating this devastating medical condition in the belief that one day it would be eradicated […]
Heart To Heart – In Conversation With Charles Erwin, Homicide Loss Father
“It was ten years before I could cry,” he says gently. “I got her home, I got her buried, and then I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had to. I had to hold it in, otherwise, I would have lost my job.” His voice is soft and I can tell he […]
Lives Lost – The Recent Catastrophic Changes To Cancer Care During Covid-19
Michael died on a cold sunlit day following months in hospital. A childhood cancer survivor, he’d developed secondary cancer aged 26. His older sister Julie was at his bedside. His mother, whom I’ve known for years, was not. She’d been denied visiting access following his hospital admission. The tragedy here is that this young man […]
When You Lose The Person You Love Before They Die
There are moments when I look back and realize that however sad I am, I know that at least my mother didn’t have to grieve her grandson too, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. When my son, Alex, was killed, my mother had been dead for 14 months. She had died following years of debilitating […]
Redefining Christmas And The New Year
Oh, how I used to love a big, sparkly Christmas! All of us together, the decorations, carols playing, and food prepared – the excitement, the hugs, the smiles, the presents placed under the Christmas tree. We would sing, feast, and afterward sit snuggly for hours. But then it stopped, extinguished as if it had never […]
I Did Not Get To Say Goodbye
It’s what I didn’t say that hurts. It’s not being able to go back and tell him all those things that swirl wildly in my mama-heart. When I didn’t get to say goodbye, my unspoken words were lost in air so thin they could not find my son who’d died. In December 2014, Alex was […]
The Love Of A Mother: Searching For Justice In The Death Of Jiah Khan
“I feel deceived. Angry. No one wants the truth. They’re just interested in a story, any story but not the facts,” explains Rabya Khan. “I’ve been fighting for over seven years. It’s exhausting.” Rabya is a mother who has single-handedly taken on the police and Indian criminal justice system. She exudes love, strength, and determination. […]
When We Heard Him Call ‘Mama’
Homicide loss mothers know each other’s grief. The commonality of having our child’s life wilfully taken transcends all barriers. Without a doubt, we share a deep understanding of this excruciating pain. The roots of our sorrow reach down and touch spilled blood, our child’s blood. There is violence. The anguish of knowing our child suffered. […]
Should Grief Be A Disorder? The APA Thinks So.
The American Psychiatric Association is creating a new grief disorder with which to diagnose the bereaved. Hard to believe, right? As if we didn’t have a plethora of diagnoses hanging over our heads already, we’re now having another one thrown at us: ‘Prolonged Grief Disorder’. For those who are new to the DSM-5, let me […]
Losing Your Child To Domestic Violence: The Grief Which Follows Intimate Partner Homicide
It was a summer morning in Michigan. The phone rang. The caller told Cheryl that it was an emergency. “It was 8:08 am,” she says quietly, her voice breaking. “I’ll never forget.” We’re talking about the events leading up to the death of Julie, her 27-year-old daughter. “I hadn’t slept well that night, not sure […]