“It was ten years before I could cry,” he says gently. “I got her home, I got her buried, and then I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had to. I had to hold it in, otherwise, I would have lost my job.” His voice is soft and I can tell he […]
The Love Of A Mother: Searching For Justice In The Death Of Jiah Khan
“I feel deceived. Angry. No one wants the truth. They’re just interested in a story, any story but not the facts,” explains Rabya Khan. “I’ve been fighting for over seven years. It’s exhausting.” Rabya is a mother who has single-handedly taken on the police and Indian criminal justice system. She exudes love, strength, and determination. […]
When We Heard Him Call ‘Mama’
Homicide loss mothers know each other’s grief. The commonality of having our child’s life wilfully taken transcends all barriers. Without a doubt, we share a deep understanding of this excruciating pain. The roots of our sorrow reach down and touch spilled blood, our child’s blood. There is violence. The anguish of knowing our child suffered. […]
Fighting So My Son’s Killer Doesn’t Go Free
At first, I didn’t understand. None of us did. We sat in a separate room near the main Court, watching the proceedings on a TV screen and looked at each other. Had we heard right? What was it the judge was saying? That my son’s killer was not guilty? I listened for a few minutes […]
Victim Impact Statements Should Never Be ‘Edited’ By The Guilty Party – But They Are
Earlier this year, a criminal defense barrister in England made an application to the sentencing judge on behalf of his client, a man who was guilty of killing four-year-old Violet-Grace Youens and of causing severe injuries to her grandmother in a hit-and-run. The lawyer persuaded the Court that his client would find the contents of […]
Secondary Losses – How Long Is Your List?
The death of our child is termed a ‘primary loss‘. Sadly, it’s not the only loss we must endure. Many bereaved parents fail to realize that the moment our child dies, we begin to experience ‘secondary losses‘. And these, like the devastating loss of our child, must also be grieved. For those new to the […]
Releasing Emotions Without Fear Of Judgement
When tragedy strikes most of us don’t know how to release our emotions naturally and safely. Instead, we tend to bottle them up. Afraid of being judged by others we hide the agony of our loss. Quite possibly, we’ll scream when no one hears or sob uncontrollably in the car. I know I did and […]
Purpose
These two. They give me the courage to be the best version of me. And, The one that is missing. The one that is gone. The one, brutally taken from us, all of us, ripped out of our lives, leaving us breathless from lack of air, suffocating like he did, gagging on our grief because […]
To The Mother Whose Son Killed Mine – Don’t Compare My Grief To Yours
On the first day of the trial, as you stood nervously outside the Court, alone, waiting to enter through the double doors, I felt your pain, your isolation. Two years before, you had sent me a condolence letter. I was grateful that you’d acknowledged my loss. So, taking a deep breath, I walked slowly towards […]
My Eyes Still See Yet My Heart Can’t Feel The Colours
In the stillness of the night, when no one stirred, and my heart was gently beating, you came to me in my dreams. There was no muffled scream, no tears, no fear. Instead, I felt your sweet breath as you whispered — “I love you, mum.” Like guarded pearls, I held your words up to […]